Even before I failed at getting snus to Germany, a commenter suggested I try Northerner’s Danish warehouse, which he identified as Norway, but I’m pretty sure it’s Denmark.

I placed that order today. The only brand I found that ships from there is the number 1 Denmark-based snus maker V2.

I readily enjoyed their Coola snus, so I ordered a couple can of that along with something called Metropol that they may or may not manufacture.

Now will the snus polizei intercept this EU to EU package? I don’t know, but I’ll let you know when I find out.

If not, I’ll have to try ordering Thunder CHEW, which is totally different than Thunder Snus (and legal?).

Stupid EU.

As I mentioned earlier, I ordered two rolls of General White about a month ago. A couple weeks ago or so, I got a letter from some customs/tax place in Berlin that I would have to go pick up my package there.

Mrs. Snus and I went down there about a week ago and got a number. A minute later a guy popped out and said something about computer problems. And then we waited. And waited. When I saw that they had armed guards in jumpsuits that said “Customs” on it, I wanted to bolt, but Mrs. Snus was worried that they would track us down. 

Finally  our number popped up on the board. 

We went to our table. A customs official had my 2 boxes of snus in his hands. He said something like:  ”Snus is forbidden in Germany…” and then he said a bunch of other shit I didn’t understand. According to Mrs. Snus, he said that he would pretend we didn’t show up so that we wouldn’t have to pay to send it back to the merchant.

So is this what all you EU hostages have been complaining about?

I thought they would give me my fucking snus, just charge me a bunch of money for it. That’s fair enough, I guess. But to not give it to me?

Wow.

What total fucknuts…

It makes no sense. They could have lifted EUR 20, 40 or more off me. Instead these morons ship my snus back to America. What could be the logic here? It’s not like anyone buying a couple cans off the Internet turns around and promptly gives it to fucking children.

And is it illegal in Germany? I’m not even sure what the rules here are. Let me know if you know.

Oh well. Good thing I just brought back 100 packs from Stockholm…

I tested out General Waterproof Edition in the sink. Check it out on my youtube channel.

No time to go into details. Moving today. Some pics you might like:

On the table we have General Tailored. It’s quite similar to General White but slightly smaller and the portion material is supposed to be softer on your gums. Something to do with space age technology maybe? I don’t remember. Also the pack is smaller and contains 20 portions.

General Licorice is an original portion that has a nice salty licorice flavor. If you like licorice, this will be your snus.

Haven’t tried the new General Mint Long or the Grov Stark Original yet. One is probably minty the other is probably strong.

Here’s the display for General Tailored. You can buy a General Tailored suit jacket, shoes and tie. No pants or underwear, though. Kind of a risque outfit, if you ask me…

Bad pic, I know. My camera is at the new place. But anyway, this is the General Waterproof Edition. It holds a pack of snus. It floats on water. Perfect for snusing in the pool, lake, ocean, bath tub, rain, toilet, or wherever else you find water or water-like substances.

More details and analysis to come.

I’m quickly running out of snus. I ordered 2 rolls of General White from Northerner’s US warehouse a couple weeks ago, which may have been its last sale of General to the EU because it’s no longer listed.

The snus hasn’t shown up yet. But don’t blame Northerner. It was shipped quickly. I know it takes a while for snus to float over the ocean, so I’ve been patient. I think.

Then this morning: Postal strike leaves letters in limbo

So I counted up my snus. 9 cans.

I feel impoverished.

Only one thing to do at this point…

Go get snus.

So in 8 days, I’m going to Stockholm for the weekend. If you have any suggestions as to what I should do while I am there, let me know.

This past week I moved from Austin to Berlin.

This makes getting snus more difficult due to the fuckknuckles in Belgium, but also puts Sweden a short flight away. I’ll have more good shit soon. Right now, I’m testing snus delivery to the EU via the US. Anyone who has experience with this, please let me know…

Right now, I can tell you this: Not one person asked me about any of the shit I brought through customs. I happened to be within the limits — a quickly dwindling supply — but I could have (and should have?) brought so much more…

Another mint snus to try, this one is kinda cool. I’ve said before how I like the idea behind strong mini snus. By my math this is the second one from Swedish Match after the January 2012 release of General Strong Mini. Like that one, this new Catch has 0.5 grams per portion and is 1.2% nicotine, giving you 6 mg of nicotine per portion. That’s a little lighter that the average portion, which comes in at 7.2 mg these days.

This snus has pure peppermint flavor on top of a mild tobacco taste. It’s not sweet at all and feels like it might in fact hit a little harder than a regular portion. This would be a great snus for dating an anti-tobacco zealot. You could hide this small but satisfying snus in your face while smooching, and she’d just wonder how you kept your breath so fresh and so minty.

It’s times like these that I wish I could actually use loose snus…

I can use it, just so ineffectively that it’s pretty stupid to even try.

This is Grovsnus Kardus, the historically packaged version of today’s Grov. This is how  your snusing forefathers — at one point in the history of snus — bought it: In large packets wrapped in paper. I consider myself a lucky bastard to have been born in the age of plastics — it’s far better suited for keeping good shit in (snus) and bad shit out (everything else) — but this snus is an homage to snus’ bygone days of paper containers.

Grov is a rough but elegant snus, firmly rooted in its tobacco flavor. It’s a great snus that I’d, without a doubt, put in my top-10-greatest-snus-ever list.

I’ve noticed one thing worth complaining about, and I try to never miss an opportunity to complain. The can of Grov now contains 42g. While that’s still nearly twice as much snus as a pack of portions, it’s down 16% from the 50g standard that I remember from not too long ago. Makes the 10% haircut on many portion snus seem a little less horrible. But there’s good news out there. Rumor has it that many Swedish Match products that were shrunk to 0.9g will soon return to 1g portions. Let’s hope it’s true.

I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. A little too minty. The number crunchers probably know something we don’t. At least I hope so. That would explain what’s going on…

Here are the past 5 snus released by Swedish Match:

Nick and Johnny Crushed Ice White Xtra Strong Mint

Catch Collection Madison Avenue Rich Mint White Mini Portion

12 Fresh Mint White Strong Long Lab Series Portion Snus

Catch White Strong Peppermint Mini Portion

General Classic White Mint Portion

Here’s my theory. Apparently many people like mint snus. That’s fine. Instead of pushing them to one line of snus that they might not identify with (Catch, which is traditionally for women and smokers, especially smoker women), let them have mint options in other brands. Let them have strong options in Lab and N&J and regular strength options in General and Catch. Oh yeah, and probably Goteborgs Rape, too. That’s my guess. G-Rape get’s a mint snus in 2013. The trend is pretty fucking obvious at this point. In fact I’d be surprised if it takes longer than the end of June. Sure Lime is already a little minty, but I think we’ll see one branded as mint very soon.

A new addition to the Nick & Johnny line of snus, Crushed Ice White, is about to go in my mouth. I’m afraid. Strong snus is no big deal to me, I just leave it in for a few minutes and bail. But extra strong always makes me think that it could give me a hangover.

So I plop the sucker over and examine the contents. It’s a full gram of snus in every portion. Cool. Nicotine is 1.2%. That’s “Xtra Strong?” No need to fear…

But it is weird how there’s little consistency to snus strengths. Probably just marketing. If there’s more to it, feel free to let me know… Maybe it just makes sense within brands. I’ll go with that theory until further notice.

So N&JCIWS is mint. Seems like it’s at least a bit wintergreen, but also some other mint that’s hard to nail down precisely, probably spearmint. Burns well. Just a little sweet in the lip, but if you tongue it, it’s pretty sweet. The tobacco flavor is not completely covered up by the mint.

I like that this snus has 22 pouches x1 gram better than the 24 x 0.9 grams. Maybe it’s because it’s the snus I grew up with. Sure, 0.1 grams isn’t a lot, but when it’s 10% you can notice. Imagine if your penis shrunk by 10%. I’d lose like 2 inches. That’s kind of how I feel about 0.9 gram snus. I still love it and will use it, but it’s just not quite the same.

Anyway, mint snus lovers will surely enjoy N&JCIWS. It’s got a great mix of minty flavors and it’s got full-sized girth to satisfy your lip.

All photos taken with a Canon PowerShot S100.