If you happen to use these antiquated devices, in a few short days you’ll probably say something like, “Oh shit, my calendar is broken.”
It’s not broken, it’s just the start of a new year.
A new year is such a glorious time. If you’re like me, you’ll tell really horrible jokes like, “I haven’t had a [...]

This morning, Mrs. Snus had a flight to some shitty town in New England. She said she was out of snus. I panicked.
Her favorite right now is probably Northerner Boost. Then she’s into a wide variety of minty flavors, including minis from Catch, Fellini, and the other purified one, Citrus Menthol, I think.
There’s none left. [...]