How to Get General Snus for $1 a Pack

General Snus is starting a new loyalty program that’s pretty sick, especially if you’re a snus proselytizer like me. It’s called The General’s Club, and you can sign up on the General Snus website.

The whole program is a little complicated, but in a nutshell, you get free stuff. And you get more stuff for recruiting your friends, coworkers, sex workers, family members — pretty much anyone you have an email address for — to join the club.

For example, in a couple weeks, just for joining you’ll get a leather-bound journal to write snus poetry in, a coupon book that includes $1 packs of General Snus, and a brochure (because there was still some room left in the envelope). You also get free entry into these General Snus/Maxim Pool Parties that are happening around the country, which look like fun if you have a hard body, Speedos and a giant dong, like I do. And at these parties, you can win private jet trips to Las Vegas. I’m not sure if Maxim girls are the flight attendants, but in my imagination they are.

That’s all pretty cool, but that’s just the beginning. By referring people, you can win more gifts, they say, but I’m not sure what yet… something about this website, maybe other stuff. I don’t remember; it was early when they told me about it. The website says “High-End Prize Offers.” Depending on how you roll, that could mean a Bugatti or a gift certificate to Marie Calendars. It’s probably safe to bet that it’s something in between.